It’s a natural reaction to look to our families when we need help. Even in families where feuds and tension exist, family members will turn to each other in times of need. Caring for your parents can be both a rewarding and stressful experience. Understanding your parents’ needs and your role as their caregiver can help all of you respond positively to whatever the future brings.

As your parents grow older, they naturally begin depending on you for support and assistance. It's normal to respond to this need with a range of emotions: sadness, because with the aging process comes thoughts of death and reminders of the past; guilt, because you feel you haven’t done enough or should have done more; frustration, because your parents’ need for support may come at a time when you're overwhelmed by other demands; anger, because you can’t meet your parents’ expectations and don’t think you should have to; anxiety, because you fear what the future may hold for you and your parents; and love, because you care for your parents and want to help them.

Like many other family patterns, caregiving responsibilities and expectations are passed through the generations often without any scrutiny or questioning. If your family pattern of caregiving doesn't fit with your personal strengths and resources as a caregiver, it's up to you to modify or change that pattern.

You can choose the extent to which you can support and care for your parents. Making this choice will be difficult, as will other choices in the future. Confronting this decision early in the caregiving cycle can enhance and strengthen your relationship with your parents and allow all of you to work together to face the challenges ahead.