When dealing with doctors, you and your loved one need to be comfortable, so keep the following points in mind when selecting a primary care physician. If you are satisfied with your current physician and need a specialist, ask your current physician for recommendations.

By answering yes or no to the following, you should get an idea of your comfort level with your doctor.

· Can your loved one openly discuss feelings and talk about personal concerns, such as sexual or emotional problems, with the doctor?

· Does the doctor rush through every appointment with little or no conversation?

· Do you believe the doctor will stand by you and your loved one?

· Does the doctor listen and answer specific questions about cause and treatment?

· Is he or she vague and impatient?

· Is time available for follow-up questions?

· Does the doctor automatically prescribe drugs, or does he or she try to get to the root of the problem? Are the medications really necessary?

· Does the doctor simply attribute your loved one’s problems to “old age”?

· Does the doctor have an associate to whom you can turn should he or she retire or be unavailable?

· Does the doctor understand your loved one’s viewpoint on surgery, transfusions, and heroic measures such as life-support systems?

· Does the doctor treat you and your loved one with respect?

Did the doctor…

· Get a detailed history from your loved one and interview you as well?

· Seem knowledgeable about the specific problems?

· Give a diagnosis or some explanation of the problems?

· Answer all your questions and concerns?

· Ask you how you were coping with the stress of caregiving?

This Care Page was adapted from the video "Aging Parents: The Family Survival Guide," produced by Lifetapes Communications, 1996.