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Care Page When do your Hmong elders or loved ones need your help? Examples of situations occur in endless variations, but that “someday” off in the distance will come and your parents, or your husband’s parents will need you -- now! The emergency will pass. However, no matter what your personal agenda is, or what is going on in your life, the time will come when you will need to provide some support. It could be emotional support or financial, physical, or legal support that's needed. As you accept this new condition in your life you may find yourself swimming in a myriad of emotions. It all may seem overwhelming. You may feel trapped, burdened, angry, anxious, guilty, sad, incompetent, and even loving. You may not feel ready. Whether the need for you to step in has happened slowly or quickly, it will be a long haul for you, so step back, and take stock. Coping requires recognizing the situation at hand and finding practical, efficient, and most importantly, caring ways for you and your parents to deal with these huge life changes. While there is no job description on caregiving, and every family does it differently, your role will be defined by your feelings towards your parents, your personal capabilities, your own resources, and those of other family members, extended clan family and friends. Your first need is to assess the major tasks with which your parents may require support, including assessing the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs and the capabilities of the whole caregiver family/friend unit. Next, collect information on how to address those needs, and then divide up responsibilities by seeking help from outside information experts and community services for back up. You don’t need to do it all yourself. Professionals can assist by assessing the situation and locating and evaluating resources needed so you can make informed choices. Or you can do this step yourself or with another family member. Other major tasks include planning for financial and legal incapacities, arranging for long-term care, and understanding and managing income and expenses. First, get organized and assemble information your Hmong elders will need to make good choices for their specific needs; gather their personal records; prepare a financial profile; and then find out what’s out there via the Internet, the phone book, or your local social services agency as resources available to your parents. The next step is to review these resources and then make informed choices with and for your loved ones. This Care Page was modified from How to Care for Your Parents, a Practical Guide to Eldercare, Nora Jean Levin, W.W. NORTON & Company, NY, London, 1997
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