Care
Page How Others Can Support the Older Hmong Caregiver
The
emotional turmoil and problems that caregivers face may seem unbearable
at times. Many caregivers get depressed. For elderly people who are caregivers
themselves, their own diminishing strength and deteriorating health can
make the situation considerably more difficult to handle. In addition,
tradition may strongly dictate that family members take on this caregiving
role.
To help caregivers cope with responsibilities, their supporters need to
be aware of their needs and the best way to respond to those needs. One
of the best ways to provide support is by listening. Problems are often
easier to face and deal with when they can be talked over with an understanding
friend. Many caregivers who feel trapped by their circumstances find that
talking about their situation helps them clarify their feelings and ease
the pent-up pressure. Both the caregiver and the care receiver need moral
support. Listen to the fears and the rewards. For most caregivers, just
knowing that support is available is often enough to provide relief.
Providing practical help needs to be welcomed. To begin with, love and
encouragement can be expressed during a personal visit, during a phone
call or e-mail, or in a small gift or perhaps a favorite food prepared.
It's comforting to be remembered. Support should also include specific,
tangible assistance. Rather than make an offer like “If I can do
anything, let me know,” say, “I’m going shopping, what
can I bring you?” Specific offers of help can include any number
of chores, such as making beds, reading and or writing letters, entertaining
visitors, obtaining medication, washing and setting hair, or washing dishes.
Concerned family and clan members and friends may offer practical help
early in the illness, but what happens if the sickness is long term? We
get caught up in our own busy schedules and forget about the ongoing and
possibly mounting pressures caregivers of all ages face.
If that happens, it may be advisable for the caregiver to call a family
meeting to discuss the care needed. Maybe they need some help in doing
this too. It may be possible to recruit the help of friends and relatives
who have indicated a willingness to assist even though there are traditional
obligations for the primary caregiver. Be willing to hear and respond
to any requests when you can and try to help the caregiver in accepting
help.
Giving caregivers a break is absolutely essential for both the caregiver
and the care receiver. Regular times away from the caregiving responsibilities
are critical. Taking time off is one of the single most important things
you can do to make it possible for caregiving to continue.
You may be able to give the caregiver a break by offering to take the
care receiver out for a while. Or spend time with them at their home.
Either way it makes it possible for the caregiver to get much-needed relaxation.
Keep in mind that it isn't always easy for caregivers to take a break.
They may feel guilty about being away from their loved one. They may feel
guilty for having fun or getting out when the care receiver cannot.
Being a caregiver is a tremendous responsibility. It can be very fulfilling
and satisfying. Many caregivers say they have stronger relationships with
their family and friends. They also learn new qualities and abilities
and sometimes say they’ve found deeper meaning in their spiritual
supports.
